We are free and fairly sober
With so many toys to build.
The machines are kinda tricky,
Probably someone will be killed,
But we gladly work for nothing
"Which is good because we don't intend to pay."
The elves are back to work today... Hurray!

We have just a couple hours
To make several billion gifts,
And the labour isn't easy...
"When you all work triple shifts.
You can make the job go quicker,
If you turn up the controls to super-speed."
It's back to work on Xmas Eve!

And though you're cold and sore and ugly,
Your pride will mask the pain.
Let my happy smile warm your heart...
"There's a toy lodged in my brain."

We are getting awfully tired,
And we can't work any faster,
And we're very very sorry...
"Why you selfish little bastards,
Do you want the kids to think Santa's just a crummy empty handed jerk?"
No!
"Then shut your yaps and back to work!"

Now it's very nearly Xmas and we've done the best we could.
These toys soldiers are poorly painted
And they're made from inferior wood.
"I should give you all a beating,
But I really have to fly."
"If I weren't stuck here frozen,
I'd harpoon you in the eye."

Now its back into our tenements to drown ourselves in rye.
You did the best you could,
I guess that some of these gorillas are OK.
The elves have rescued Xmas Day! Hooray!